Mussolini made the trains run on time, but can Shelly make the canteen?
Age: 23
Hometown: Ballineen
Manifesto Highlights:
· Plan for the future: By introducing a careers week with guest speakers and expert advice, Shelly hopes to get us Maynoothians out of recession and into employment. No need to emigrate Staines!
· Library Times: By opening the library during busier times ie. The two weeks around exams. May need to wait for new library is built before planning any new changes.
· Fight for your right: To Party? No to campaign in the fight against fees (something everyone seems to be against) and make sure the canteen is built on time.
· Mixed Bag: Hopes to make student life Easier (than it already is?) by developing facilities across the board such as parking, better accommodation and better events.
On the Campaign:
To this blogger, Shelly’s campaign has been as quiet and as obscure as the village in West Cork that she hails from. While last week she had a number of people campaigning on her behalf, Monday saw her cutting a paltry figure outside the arts block and has seemed to have either fallen to a mutiny or has thought the Jason Whelan technique of no campaign team may give her a better chance. While probably the nicest candidate on the ballot, her minimalistic approach to campaigning has been so successful that no one knows she’s actually running! Her manifesto, while idealistic, has no real plans on how to do them! At Hustings, she was, quiet, mundane and replied with non-contributory answers for fear she would offend someone. However her joke question about Roy Keane at the 2002 World Cup split the room, which may even lose her half of the votes she would have gotten for being so nice. She seems to believe she can defeat her opponents with kindness. Unfortunately her opposition has killer dance moves and scantily clad women. Not even the unlikely promise of a guaranteed on time canteen could save her and would better have been replaced with a promise to annex St.Pats fully into NUIM by armed force. The idea that she can have builders complete the new canteen and stay to a deadline, if actually plausible would by far be a miracle on a par with Jesus turning water into wine. If this is the case and Shelly gets elected, I will eat my hat and invite her to my house to speed the constructions.
Student Observer Odds: 250/1
-Juvenal
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